Daycare Mums

My first baby, now 19 months old,  goes to an amazing daycare three days a week. He absolutely loves it, and I’m unashamed to say I love leaving him there. Judge me all you like, daycare rocks my world.

I find it fascinating watching all the different Mums (with the odd Dad or Grandparent thrown in) drop off and pick up their children.

From my observations, the daycare Mums can be categorised as follows:

The Always Late, Always in a Rush Mum

This Mum’s child is sometimes wearing his pajamas, or on a particularly bad day is wearing pajamas herself. #me

She doesn’t find the time to label the nappies and often forgets to pack crucial items like sunblock or a drink bottle. This Mum is always in a rush, and usually lies (or stretches the truth) about the time on the sign-out sheet to avoid late fees. #also me

This Mum usually has another child, or children in the car (unlike the Do Everything By The Book Mum who would NEVER leave children in the car) and is rushing so the kids in the car don’t have time to kill each other.

The Need To Know Everything Mum
This Mum needs to know exactly what and how much her child ate, who they played with, how long they slept for and what activities they did. If they missed out on sensory play today this Mum will ensure to get the playdough out when she gets home. No books today!!@??? Triple the stories at bed-time for you little one!!! I think these Mums should be daycare teachers themselves or just stay home with their kids. Stop being a control freak and let the teachers do their job sister!

The Complainer /Moany Pants Mum

Simply put, this Mum is a pain in the bum. You can usually find her engaging the poor daycare teacher in a deep conversation about how it isn’t good enough that nobody was watching Tommy when Johnny hit him in the face with a digger. Newsflash lady, if you stick your kid in daycare with 30 other kids, shit is going to happen. Sometimes literally.

Moany Pants Mum also makes formal complaints about how often her child gets sick from daycare. Again, it’s a daycare lady, kids get sick. A lot. Suck it up, if the snot isn’t green, you’re all good.

The Do Everything By the Book Mum

This Mum thinks she is a parenting expert and has read all the books. When her child is punching and kicking her at dropoff, you can find her crouching down at eye-level saying – “it’s ok, you’re obviously very angry, it’s important you express your emotions, however I don’t accept this behaviour” as opposed to the Always in a Rush Mummy who swiftly deposits the hysterical screaming tyrant at the front door and bolts with a quick ‘BYEEEE, HAVE A GREAT DAY’.

There’s so many more, The Cool Mum who arrives in lulu lemon yoga pants and looks about 12 years of age. All the kids flock to her when she walks in because she’s so much fun!!! Seriously why isn’t she tired!!!!???? She disgusts me.

The Tired Mum who looks like she’s been up all night, every night for a year. She’s wearing sunglasses and drinking horrible instant coffee in one of those stainless steel cups.

The Guilty Mum who looks like she’s going to cry every time she drives out of the car park. #hardenupcrybaby

Ohhhhh and the Nice Mum who bakes gluten free cakes for the teachers, just because she can #needahobbyanyone?

Which one are you?