The topic: How do we maintain our sex life while co-sleeping?
My first thought was this is an easy topic, what a great excuse to not have sex. Apparently though…. some parents actually want to have sex. Others (me) are so horribly tired that the thought of having to expend energy, other than getting off the couch to get to bed, is almost so upsetting that they actually cry. People that have energy for sex… disgust me!
So I decided to use my old friend Google and simplify any information I found so that it was user friendly. I found a few lists with similar things so the bullet points below are some tips for you (you know who you are you disgusting philanderers). The first bit is what I found as advice and the comments following are my interpretation.
Beccy’s guide to maintaining a healthy sex life while co-sleeping:
- Designate another area of your home the place where you can feel comfortable having sex. – Possibly somewhere quiet and warm. The hall cupboard is perfect in our house. The hot water cylinder is in there so we have something to lean on, or fall asleep on.
- Let a grandparent, friend, or babysitter watch your children in their home, or take them on some kind of an outing, even just to the park, leaving you time with your spouse in your own home – I’m not sure how I feel about this one. It’s one thing to have a dinner date and maybe some “special adult cuddles” following it but just getting a sitter in for sex… I can imagine the conversation might go something like this: “Mum, would you mind taking the boys to the park (realistically, they could just play in Mum’s car in our driveway) for 10 mins while we spring clean the hall cupboard?” Spring clean is code for… S.E.X, in case you missed it.
- Make a reservation at a local hotel, and go on a date for the afternoon; you don’t have to stay the night. – This sounds like a good idea but I’d probably have sex and then just sleep the afternoon away. Unless they have a nice warm hall cupboard.
- Be creative – find time during naps, when the children are asleep or with others to meet your needs as a couple – What? Did I read this correctly? Co-sleeping sex with “others”? I wouldn’t recommend any of this. Although each to their own I’d just keep it away from the children.
- As with everything between couples, open lines of communication are important. Talking with each other about needs and desires can help couples support each other and boosts the chances that more needs are met more of the time. – It is clear to me that a man wrote this last one. The begging angle, while annoying can pay dividends in the long run.
I thought I’d ask my partner to draw a picture for me for this blog. The instructions I gave him were “can you please draw me a stick figure (he does some great doodles for me) diagram of how you might have sex while co-sleeping with your baby”. I perhaps wasn’t clear enough that is wasn’t actually while the co-sleeping was happening. Slightly alarmed that the baby was still in the bed… between the couple. Just for the record, we do not co-sleep… thank goodness!