You know you’re tired when…

  • You look forward to going to the dentist for the chance to lie down.
  • You spend an outrageous amount of money on a watch (aka Fitbit) that tells you how few hours you actually sleep so you can beat your partner in a competition of “I’m so much more tired than you”.
  • You stick your finger in the hot cottage pie to test if it’s cooked. #ouch
  • You start to fantasise about sex dreams. Real sex expends too much energy. Hopefully it’s with your partner but really… whoever! You know you’re beyond tired when you’re making excuses to avoid sex in your dreams. If this is you… I’m sorry.
  • You spend 10 minutes looking for your lost child before realising you’re holding him.
  • You have mastered walking from your bed to your child’s bed and back with your eyes closed. If you’re really skilled you’ve even mastered going to the toilet and getting back to bed without even a slight peek to ensure you’re not going to trip over the endless piles of washing and toys.
  • You get an ugly Mummy haircut to avoid the exertion of brushing your hair.
  • You wake up in the night (or day if you’re lucky enough to still be having day sleeps) wondering one or all of the following: what day of the week is it? which bed am I in? or where did I leave my child?
  • You turn down a glass of wine for a cup of coffee. #tragedy
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