Nobody likes a tight-ass

This has nothing to do with motherhood or children but sometimes a girl needs to rant.

I hate tight people. Tight as in stingy. I’m not talking about frugal people. Or people who don’t have a lot to spend. These people get a generous leave pass. I’m talking about people who have money but avoid spending it. People with short hands and long pockets.

There is nothing more unattractive in a person. Especially when the tightwad is a man and he is inflicting his tightness on a woman. I don’t care if I’m old fashioned, a good man looks after his woman.

I once had a boyfriend who was as tight-ass. He earned a ridiculous amount of money for his age (we are talking six figures starting with a 2 and he was only in his early 20s). This was at a time in my life when I was struggling with my career (before I became a kick-ass recruiter with cash to burn) and I was pretty much broke.

WhenI moved into this guy’s apartment (new city, new country, before I even got a job) it was agreed I would pay him $150 a week in rent. I moved in on a Monday. On Thursday I went to the bank , opened an account (I think I had about $450 to my name as I had been saving for the flight for months) and arranged for a weekly automatic payment for my rent. I mentioned that night as I cooked dinner (we had split the grocery bill straight down the middle) that I’d set the rent payment up and that the first payment would go out that night. He turned around and said ‘Today’s Thursday right? – what about Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday’s rent’? I thought he was joking. He wasn’t.

When we went out for dinner, he would get all awkward when it came time to pay. He would say ‘So Margs, how do we do this?’ I would pay half and act like it was no big deal but inside I was like HOW DO WE DO THIS!!!???? YOU PAY YOU TIGHT ASS, THAT’S HOW WE DO IT!!!!!! Once his mother picked him up a new toothbrush and seriously asked for the money back. He counted out the coins and paid her to the cent. I realised then, there was no hope for us. They were a family of tightwads, there was no way I was joining them. #byebyetightass.

Anyway, we all know someone like this. Someone who never shouts. Someone who ALWAYS hangs back when it comes time to pay. Someone who examines the bill and only pays for precisely what they have eaten. I can’t stand people who do this.

With this in mind, I decided to write some lessons on how not to be a tight-ass.

If I can help one tight-ass rehabilitate themselves then the world will be a better place.

  • Every now and then, shout your friend a coffee. Or really stretch yourself and buy them lunch. Go on, knock yourself out. I guarantee it won’t kill you.
  • If you’re married, or in a serious relationship, share your money. You’re a unit now.
  • If you are travelling overseas to stay with a friend, always buy that person a bottle of grog duty free. It’s just what you do.
  • If you are a man, and you are taking a woman out on a date. PAY.
  • When you are at a bar with a group of friends, ask EVERYONE what they would like to drink and pay for it. You only have to do this once.
  • If someone is short some cash, don’t make them ask for it. Offer. Anything under $10 is not a loan, it’s a gift. Don’t ask for it back. That’s just embarrassing unless you’re a kid.

If I didn’t hate the use of trendy acronyms I would insert a YOLO here. #lifeisforliving

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